My Stimulus Package…

13Jan09

Most mornings in the office are relatively peaceful. However, an unusual email arrived this morning from corporate – announcing that the inevitable has occurred… layoffs. The “Lay Off Lottery” crew wants to meet me for a one-on-one at 11:00 – and I just can’t sit here at my desk, dying a slow death knowing that… well, you already know. So it’s time to cushion the blow… time to seek a little ether… time to have a word (via Instant Messenger) with “MahoganyWonder” (she asks to remain anonymous).

ron: whattup woman?

betts_sm: hey

ron: well, the recession has affected our company. i think that i’ll be getting bad news today.

betts_sm: seriously? you’re getting laid off?

ron: just got a company wide email… they are cutting a bunch of folks… they announced the need to trim 1/3 of our staff… and i have an impromptu meeting today at 11. it’s prolly that “sorry, we gotta let you go” meeting

betts_sm: maybe they will keep you

ron: if they were gonna keep me why would they request a one on one meeting?? i’m gonna be an unemployed bum. can i get a sermon please??

betts_sm: Well a one on one meeting could be that they are letting you go.
But hey – you never know…each company is different.
Sometimes they do a one on one meeting to advise you of a change in the workplace.
But if you’re one of the last one’s hired – then you could very well be one of the first one’s fired.
Just keep hope alive. Don’t hang yourself yet….they haven’t even shown you the rope.

ron: do u think that i should just get up now and go in my director’s office to ask what is up?? i can’t hold in this suspense for another hour and 10 minutes

betts_sm: whatever ron

betts_sm: you are always trying to act like the little militant ready to ruffle feathers and shake things up… you need to sit your azz down and wait until they call you for your meeting.

ron: i’m not gonna go postal… i just want an inkling of an idea…. i’m lactose intolerant… and my stomach is bubbling

betts_sm: has anyone else had a meeting or will you be the first one

ron: i’ll be the first one

betts_sm: well do what i did when i was let go.

ron: ???

betts_sm: i found out thru the grapevine i’d be laid off… i went into the office and ran my rounds saying goodbye to everyone. i packed up the few items i had in my desk and went back when i got ready. had my meeting when i returned – and that was it. my boss was surprised i knew – but oh well.

ron: word?

betts_sm: yes i’m serious. the layoffs were ‘hush hush’ and i was the newest transfer into the dept. so i knew i’d be let go.

ron: wow

betts_sm: my friend worked in another dept and found out i was on the list. she called to tell me on my way into the office – so once i arrived i parked in guest parking and just walked around for a few hours chatting it up – passing on my contact info and saying my goodbyes. then i went back to the office – setup my out of office to say i was laid off and waited for them to call me for my meeting.

ron: wow. are u serious? and this is before you received official word?

betts_sm: yep. my boss was shocked i knew ahead of time but come on…what was he gonna do “fire me”? lol.

ron: he was probably dumbfounded huh?

betts_sm: yeah he was. he said he’d watch me pack my office – i told him… no need, i’m already packed. then he said, “i’ll escort you to the employee parking lot”….no need i’m in visitors parking. peace out homie. that’s when he told me “i have a feeling you were expecting this”

rone: wow… umm… can i chuckle please??

betts_sm: i wanted to reply “no $h!t Sherlock.” but i was cool… and yeah, you can chuckle

ron: ok… dayyyyuuuuummmmmmmmmm!

betts_sm: i know they probably expected me to cry or something. they knew i had just bought my house…had bills and junk – but i was chunking the deuce. two other women in my dept were all tears…they felt so “betrayed” by him and the company.
but i have a different attitude – i always expect the unexpected. lol

ron: word? were those other women holding it down for a minute??

betts_sm: one was there about four years…the other one was there about two years.

ron: oh ok… and when they received notice, did they get gangsta??

betts_sm: no – this was “Jane and Jill” not “Jackee and Jacquetta” so they just cried. sat at their desk and cried. cried while packing and cried while walking out.

ron: no chair tossing? nothing?

betts_sm: naw. I just shook my head laughing – WTF? how are you going to go out like that? puhleese. why shed a tear? the company isn’t shedding any tears behind letting you go.

ron: preach mama

betts_sm: i know it might be a shocker but it will work out in the end. it might be a blessing in disguise for you. for me it was. i wanted to get laid off. i hated my new dept. lol

ron: wow. u didn’t like those cats anyway huh?

betts_sm: no sir

ron: that’s off the hook… ahh yes, i needed that sermon

betts_sm: lol

ron: you made me feel so much better… i’m gonna start packing my shit right now before this meeting starts. I’ll show them.

betts_sm: it’ll work out if they let you go. my homie was let go a few months ago like that but he lucked up on a job not long after. keep the faith.

ron: and the congregation says…. Amen.

betts_sm: Amen.

(end of sermon)

Needless to say, the meeting with the Manager went totally different than I expected. I was informed that I was actually going to be keeping my job. In fact, the company would be shifting several job roles and needed me to be a “team player” by taking on a few new responsibilities until further notice. Of course my Manager wanted to know why the hell was I packing up my desk before this meeting… I told him that my desk needed a new “stimulus”.

~TMS

Filed under: faith, jobs, stimulus   |  3 Comments